


When You Ass-U-Me

by theleaveswant



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Catharsis, Confrontations, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Jealousy, Kaidan is not sympathetic here, Mass Effect 1, Other, Possessive Behavior, Shepard is not nice to Kaidan, abuser alert, alarm bells ringing, author responding to triggering canon content, confrontation scene, if either of those things bothers you go elsewhere, implied potential for domestic violence, irrational jealousy, verbal smackdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 02:06:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3792556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theleaveswant/pseuds/theleaveswant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard calls Kaidan out for disturbingly possessive behaviour in the comm room confrontation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Ass-U-Me

**Author's Note:**

> So Shepard flirted with Kaidan on my last play-through of ME1 instead of shutting him down as usual, and I got to the "you have to pick" scene and yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeah . . . I'd heard about the petulance and the accusations of cheating in the other games but YIKES. That attitude hit me just a little too close to home. 
> 
> Kaidan defenders, turn back now. Seriously. I tried not to go all the way to character bashing but if you're going to get upset and snip at me over him acting like an asshole and getting called out on it, READ SOMETHING ELSE.
> 
> ETA: 99% certain the anon who complained about Kaidan's characterization was trolling, but I feel the need to say this anyway: I don't apologize for writing Kaidan the way I did, and I was clear in the tags and here in the notes that this is not a pro-Kaidan story. That said, I want to be clear that I am not anti-Kaidan in general. I wrote this story in response to one particular scene, in which Kaidan's controlling behaviour reminded me of my abusive ex, but I don't blame Kaidan for that--he is, after all, a _fictional character_ ; fault lies with the writers and with the pervasive cultural myth that acting possessive should be a desirable trait instead of a red flag. If seeing this character presented in a negative light upsets you that's unfortunate, but romanticizing abuse upsets me and that's what this fic is a reaction to. 
> 
> ETA2: Comments telling me I'm wrong or calling me a delusional meanie for having a different read on or emotional reaction to a scene or character in a work of fiction than you do will be deleted immediately, and repeated or extreme cases will be reported for harassment. Save us both the trouble and don't bother.

Good news: the council closed the connection before Shepard could succumb to temptation and attempt to throttle a hologram. Bad news: turning away from the communications terminal dumped her out of the frying pan right into the fire.

"I'm not trying to make anyone uncomfortable," Alenko said. "I'm just trying to figure out where I stand."

Shepard shook her head. "This isn't the time to talk about this."

Her effort at snaking past them to the exit was arrested by a shy voice piping up, "I disagree--Forgive me, but I believe this must be resolved." Liara shrugged apologetically. "I may not know much about human relationships but I understand the concept of jealousy." Liara looked anxious. Alenko looked sullen, his full lips pouting in a way that in other circumstances Shepard might have found tantalizing but right now grated on her already-raw nerves.

"I'm not jealous, I'm confused. I mean I thought we had something, ma'am. I didn't realize you were a--that you preferred other women."

Shepard's eyebrows, which had been staging a slow-motion collision above the bridge of her nose, sprang for her hairline.

Liara, adorably pedantic, corrected him. "I am not exactly a woman, Lieutenant; my species only has one gender."

"Yeah, but you look like a--never mind. Look, Shepard, just tell the truth. If you're not serious about me it'll hurt but I'll get over it . . . but until you tell me, I can't get over it."

Shepard sighed and rubbed her temples. "Can we stick a pin in this for now? I'm really not in a great place for drama."

"With all due respect, ma'am: no, we can't."

Liara shook her head sadly. "This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. I never should have told you about my feelings, Shepard. I have put you in a terrible position. I'm sorry."

Shepard waved dismissively. "There's nothing to be sorry about, Liara. You didn't do anything wrong."

Kaidan practically growled, "I guess that's it, then."

"Excuse me?" Shepard sniped. Alenko started to answer but Shepard raised a hand and overrode him. "Explain this hostility to me, please. You're clearly convinced that I've wronged you in some way, and if I'm going to answer the charges I deserve to know exactly what they are."

Alenko shrugged. "I don't understand why you led me on."

"Led you on?" Shepard was flabbergasted.

"Why you let me go on believing you were interested in me when the whole time you had eyes on T'soni."

Shaking her head in slow bewilderment, Shepard took a step back from both of them. "I've never been anything but honest with either of you. You asked if I was attracted to you, I said yes--which I admit was unprofessional. The issue never should've come up. But nobody got lied to and there was no sneaking around."

"So it's a lie of omission," Alenko argued, but Shepard stood her ground.

"No, it isn't! If I was actually starting something with either of you then yes, I should have disclosed where things stood with the other, but that's not what happened." Shepard narrowed her eyes at Alenko. "Is that what you're pissed off about? You think I was being unfaithful? There's no faithful to be un-."

"You said--"

"I said I liked the idea of us getting together some time, in the future, when we're not in the middle of a time-sensitive mission of galactic importance, Kaidan. That's not the same as exchanging promise rings."

"Well, who did you say it to first?" Alenko's wide gesture roped Liara, who'd otherwise nearly succeeded in slinking all the way to the far curve of the circular room, back into the conversation.

"Seriously?" Shepard scoffed. "You, although I'm not sure that's relevant seeing as this is not a case of dibs." With another shake of her head, Shepard leaned back on the railing of the comms terminal and threw her hands up in the air. "You want truth? Fine. You asked for it. Liara: you're cute and I'm here as a friend if you need one but right now, after what happened on Noveria and all the other shit going on, that's all I'm comfortable being with you--and I'm really sorry you got dragged into this mess, because I think it's abundantly clear that this was not your idea."

"I understand," Liara said quickly. "Thank you for making clear your position."

"And Kaidan . . ." Shepard took a deep breath and turned to face him. "You're a passionate guy. I get that. It's part of what made you interesting. But there's a thick line between old-fashioned and archaic, and this slut-shaming, biphobic weirdness you're sending out right now? You can ride that penny-farthing right on out of here because that shit is not endearing. And that's on top of you acting jealous--"

"I told you, I'm not--"

"Fine, yes. Jealous is the wrong word anyway. Jealous isn't a behaviour. You're _acting_ possessive and that's even worse." Shepard cocked her head to glare at him. Her voice, which had been growing in volume the longer she talked, dropped to a disdainful hiss. "Do you possess me, Alenko? Am I your possession?"

"No," Alenko answered quietly.

"What was that?"

"No," he repeated, louder.

Shepard stood up from the railing, poking the air accusingly with one finger. Her voice was back in the sergeant-major register, meaning they could probably hear her in the CIC, but Shepard was on too much of a roll to stop. "That's right, you don't. I'll advise you to keep that in mind in future relationships--with other people, I mean, in case that wasn't obvious. After this illuminating exchange I think it's quite clear you and I would make a horrific couple." Cheeks burning, short of breath, Shepard longed for a mic to drop. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"I--" Alenko took a deep breath. "Yes. I think so."

Shepard nodded. "Are we going to have a problem now, on the job?"

"No, ma'am."

"Good." Shepard sighed. "Look, I'm sorry about all this--not having boundaries, or even the yelling so much, but I'm not happy that you're hurting now and I regret not being clearer from the outset, or not realizing the communication failure. I never wanted to hurt you."

"I believe you." Alenko snorted, his mouth twisting in a wry smile. "If you'll excuse me, Commander; I have some sulking I'd like to get over and done with."

Shepard nodded, her grimace mirroring his. At least he still had his sarcasm. "Dismissed."

Alenko left the room with a formal nodded salute and Shepard collapsed back onto the railing, deflating like a pierced balloon. She looked to Liara. "You okay?"

Liara nodded distractedly. "Remember what I said about asari finding your species' emotional intensity intimidating?"

Shepard laughed bitterly. "Perfect example?" she asked.

"Textbook." Liara stopped a few steps from the door. "Will Lieutenant Alenko be all right?"

"I hope so."

"And you?"

"Oh, I'll be just peachy," Shepard said lightly, following Liara out of the room. "Don't worry about me."

And she would, once the conflicting feelings of being a puppy-kicking monster and wishing she'd broken his nose when the chance was there settled down. In the meantime there was hunting Saren to worry about, which for a distraction was probably overkill. That choppy STG transmission looked promising, their freshest lead in a while. A quick check-in at the Citadel, first, and a chance to resupply--Joker was already taking them to the nearest relay--and then it was straight on to Virmire.


End file.
